Here, Son, Just Klingon to Me

Dr d'Armond Speers of Minnesota (a linguist) only spoke Klingon to his infant son for the first three years of his life in the hope the child would learn the fictional language that was developed for the Star Trek franchise.  Luckily the boy also had a mother who spoke to him in English.  Dr Speers says his son is picking up the language well and has excellent pronunciation.

The child will also be presented with a ceremonial Klingon meqleH (short sword) for his first day of preschool (OK, I made that bit up).

All I have to say is this: Ha'DIbaH!  Why couldn't he have taught his son something useful, like say, Esperanto?


For a translation of Klingon words - http://www.movies-dictionary.org/English-to-Klingon-Dictionary/

Source: Courier Mail - http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,26380766-5013016,00.html

Truth is Stranger Than Fiction - Part 2: Luke, I am Your Father

This one comes under the "careful what you wish for" sub-category.

In the US an adopted man searching for his biological father has discovered that he is the son of cult leader and serial killer Charles Manson.  He is also the spitting image of his infamous parent.

Although he says he is a peace-loving guy whose hero is Gandhi, he has been exchanging letters with Manson.  “He sends me weird stuff and always signs it with his swastika,” he says.

Nature or nurture?  I do hope the guy doesn't believe in predestination.


Source: news.com.au - http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26388459-401,00.html

Truth is Stranger Than Fiction - Part 1: Living Death

Here is a real horror story.  A Belgian man has spent 23 years trapped inside his paralysed body while doctors assumed he was in a vegetative state.  His physicians finally decided to do a brain scan to see what his neurological function was like only to find out that he was perfectly aware and had been so for over two decades. 

The man, who can now communicate via a special computer program, has told how he meditated to help pass the time.  "I cried out, but no-one heard me," he said, "I will never forget the day they discovered me - it was my second birth."



Source: news.com.au - http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26392575-23109,00.html

Furry Zeitgeist

You know there is Zeitgeist happening when a particular subject comes up in the media, on the web, on TV or in conversation many times over a really short time.

This week's Zeitgeist is all about Furries.

For those of you who don't know, Furries are people that like to dress up in animal costumes and have fun.  All sorts of fun.  But let's not go there.

For me, it all started with a discussion of shape-shifters on the True Blood official HBO wiki.  This began conversation about the True Blood character, Sam (who shape-shifts into a dog), and lady dogs.  Somehow this led onto the subject of Furries and that classic CSI episode set at the Furry convention in Las Vegas.

And the very next day we get this Furry story from the ABC News website. 

Reuters reports there is a hotel in France that is offering the chance for guest to live as a hamster for a night.  For 99 Euros a guest can eat seeds, sleep in straw and work out in a giant hamster wheel.  Hamster suit is optional and BYO.

If this was April 1st I'd think this was a joke - but apparently not.

I shudder in anticipation of the next stage of the Furry Zeitgeist.

Source: abc.net.au - http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/11/17/2745682.htm?section=justin

NT News Reports - Croc Trap Clowns

Given my antipathy towards clowns I was excited to see this headline thinking that, perhaps, it might be a story about a Crocodile eating a clown - but, alas, it was not.  The guys involved were not real clowns, only metaphorical ones, and metaphorical clowns don't count.

Maybe next time.

Source: news.com.au - http://www.news.com.au/travel/story/0,28318,26360760-5014090,00.html

Bull-Jumping Comes Back Into Fashion

Bloody Cretans! 
(Ancient History joke - lol)



http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,26355406-5013016,00.html

The Collected Wit and Wisdom of True Blood's Jason Stackhouse

It seems that on every True Blood fan site, blog and wiki, it is always Eric, Eric Eric, Bill, Bill Bill. 

Don't you just get a bit tired of it all?

Irrespective of the predictable cries of the "noooo ... we love Eric, Eric Eric, Bill, Bill Bill!",  I think it is time to redress the balance or as Jason would say: "What we need is a divergence."

In this post I celebrate that fine, dumb as a box full o' hair, sex-god, Jason Stackhouse.  And it is his mind (or lack thereof) that I love, as much as his physique.

So to that end here is the collected wit and wisdom of Jason as revealed in True Blood Seasons 1 and 2.

In TB Season 1 we got to see the more (ahem) physical side of Jason, so the audience didn't really have a chance to appreciate his native wit and unique take on life.

In Season 1 Jason revealed that he was perceptive:

Jason to LaFayette: “You’re wearing gold pants!”;

and witty, even under extreme duress:

Jason to LaFayette: "I got gout of the dick!!!"

But Jason's greatest contribution to the wisdom of the ages (and a warning to men everywhere) was his "big bad of crazy' rule:

Jason to Amy: “I should've known something wasn't right the second you walked into my life carrying that big bag of crazy! 'Cause any woman with a purse that big's bound to have something in it I don't wanna know about!”

In Season 2, with his body not much required for anything but exhibition, Jason really hit his intellectual and philosophical straps.

We found out he was a biblical scholar in this exchange:
Luke - "Think you walk on water don’t you Stackhouse?" Jason - "I’m pretty sure that was Moses."

And an existential philosopher of note with:

Jason to Andy: "It's like if a tree falls in the woods it's still a tree, ain't it?"

and

Jason to Andy: “Do you think Sam could turn into a chicken and lay his own egg. Wouldn't that be weird, eatin' something that just came out of you?”

and

Jason to Sam: "I smite thee, Sam Merlotte. DIE!"

We all marvelled at his musing on life, love and the nature of good and evil in these exchanges:

Jason to Sookie: "When you love somebody, you gotta love it all, or it ain't love."

and

Jason to Luke: “Evil is making the premedicated choice to be a dick”

and

Jason to Andy: “Do you think Sam ever turned into a dog and then made it with a female dog?”

and , of course:

Jason to Steve: “I reckon I've already been to heaven and it's inside your wife.”

And who could forget that subtle and profound question:

"Explain Europe to me?" 

I think we would all like to have Europe explained.  Anybody?....Anybody?

 Ah Jason, Jason, Jason, and, yes, I too "love the smell of nail polish in the morning."



Quotes and photos: HBO

Life Imitating True Blood - My Bill is Missing!

Just like in the True Blood season 2 finale my Bill has gone missing!

Well, to be more exact, my "Team Bill" t-shirt has gone missing somewhere between Los Angeles and Canberra.  I am devestated, just like Sookie. 

I'm blaming Team Eric. If there is a Team Lorena, I might be blaming them, too. 

If anyone has seen my Bill, please return him to me.

(If my Team Bill t-shirt returns to me in June 2010, I'll be completely freaked-out.)

The Underpants Infidelity Index

According to the British retailer Debenhams, a recent poll has shown that men only buy their own undies when they are on the prowl for a new partner.  When in stable relationships men tend to let their partner do the underwear buying.

So girls and guys - if you are worried that your man is playing around - check his underwear draw.

Source: smh.com.au - http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/lifematters/mens-underwear-key-to-fidelity-20091111-i915.html

Chicken Little Announced as Fifth Member of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Following on from the whole confusing "sky is falling" sign of the apocalypse debacle, representatives of Chicken Little have announced that he is indeed to join the Horsemen of the Apocalypse as its fifth member.

According to the press release his duties will relate to "spreading fear, alarm and panic relating to natural disasters involving atmospheric phenomena."  Additionally he will coordinate any avian themed apocalyptic distasters such as the recent Great Budgie Plague in Australia.

Innovative New Treatment for Iron Deficiency

A man in Peru has had to undergo surgery after swallowing around a kilo of metal nails, coins and various other scrap.  He had turned up at the hospital complaining of a stomach ache.

Doctors have advised the man that taking iron supplements is a much safer way to treat an iron deficiency.

Source: news.com.au - http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26339274-23109,00.html

Apocalypse Watch - The Sky is Falling (or is it?)

Houses in Grovedale, Victoria have had mystery holes blown through their roofs.   Could be meteorites or it could be the Apocalypse.  Be on alert, people!

Hey - wait a minute - the whole "sky is falling thing" is Chicken Little, isn't it? 

Bugger!  Not the Apocalypse after all. 

Everybody stand down.

Source: news.com.au - http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26329396-13762,00.html

Not Stoned, Just Gaming

A driver in Queensland was arrested on suspicion of being stoned because he spoke to police about mystical dragons.  He was also allegedly unsteady on his feet and slurring his words.

I argue that these symptoms could just as readily be explained as the result of a long Dungeons & Dragons session rather than a bong session.  The mystical dragons bit is self-evident as gamers do like to talk about the monsters they have beaten.  The lack of balance and slurring of words was clearly caused by a combination of exhaustion and grease and caffeine overdose.

All gamers should be aware of this outrageous discrimination and blatant hobbiest profiling by Police.  We will be watching the court case with interest.

Note to self - never say the words "mystical" or "dragon" in front of a Police Officer.

Source: Courier Mail - http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,26329807-5013016,00.html

True Blood Fanfic - Eric, Godric and Shakespeare

I'm considering writing a short True Blood fanfic story set in late 16thC London including Eric, Godric and Shakespeare. 

It will centre around Shakespeare meeting the two vampires, but mistaking them for fairies.  By meeting these two, Shakespeare is inspired to write A Midsummer's Night Dream with Godric as Puck and Eric as Oberon.  I may even include Henry Fitzroy (from the Blood Books), who will play Titania. 

I think I'll call it Godric Gets Pucked.   Heh.

Will You Have Fries With That?

A guy in Sydney's west has proven that the human male is capable of multi-tasking by ordering his burger at the same time as robbing the drive-through.  Or maybe he misunderstood when asked if he wanted to Super-Size his order.  lol

Source: news.com - http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26324509-29277,00.html

Volunteer Vampires Required!

There is currently a campaign running in the US to encourage people to volunteer their time to support community and charitable organisations.  The entertainment industy has pitched in with TV shows such as CSI and Desperate Housewives including scenes in which characters mention or participate in volunteering activities.

It is now time for the current crop of vampire shows to come to the table on this.  But what kinds of activities would a vampire want to voluntneer for?

Suggestions welcome.  The most creative will get absolutely nothing apart from kudos and the satisfaction of a job well done.

Stranger Than Fiction: I'm Not Dead - Just Resting

A Brazilian man has shocked his family by showing up alive at his own funeral.   His car had crashed, a badly disfigured body was inside wearing clothes similar to his, some relatives identified the corpse as his, but as it turns out, he was not in the car but drinking the night away with friends.

So who was the guy in the car? 

Sounds like the start of a good mystery novel, doesn't it?

Source: smh.com.au, http://www.smh.com.au/world/strangebuttrue/man-shows-up-alive-at-own-funeral-20091105-hycy.html

Extreme Bloke Sighting

Yes - the fabled beast called the  "Extreme Bloke" is still out there. 

I actually caught sight of one of the almost mythical, endangered species today. 

It was clearly an Extreme Bloke, not the more common Aussie Bloke,  as it was decked out in a signed green and gold, Rugby tour jersey and carried  a six-pack in one hand and four litres of motor oil in the other.

Any other accounts of Extreme Bloke sightings are welcome.

Epic Fail 4 - What Happens When I Pull This Lever?

A guy in South Africa on a joy flight in a fighter jet found out the answer to this question when he accidently pulled the ejector handle.  Apparently it happened during some terrifying aerobatic maneuvers. 

I guess he must have thought it was the panic handle - and as it turns out, it was!

Source - smh.com.au:  http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-news/passenger-blasted-into-sky-after-pulling-on-eject-handle-20091102-hrz3.html

True Blood - Relapse City

Just when I thought I was getting over my True Blood addiction for at least a while, almost every show on TV has some reminder.

 Here a few examples:

1. Chris Bauer (Andy Bellefleur) on Fringe.

2. Adina Porter (Lettie-May Thornton) on CSI.

3. Katrina Logue (Denise Ratray) on Lie to Me.

4. Multiple Merlotte's Bar set appearances e.g. on Moonlight and The Mentalist.
5. Deborah-Ann Woll (Jessica Hamby) on Law and Order SVU (haven't actually seen that episode yet, lol, but I know she's there).

And add to this:
6.  Michael McMillan (Rev. Steve Newlin) on The Mentalist
7.  Ashley Jones (Daphne Landry) on The Bold and the Beautiful (in my defence, it just happened to be on).

There's bound to be others.

"Every time I think I'm out....they pull me back in!"  (Seriously channeling my inner Al here.)