The Collected Wit and Wisdom of True Blood's Jason Stackhouse

It seems that on every True Blood fan site, blog and wiki, it is always Eric, Eric Eric, Bill, Bill Bill. 

Don't you just get a bit tired of it all?

Irrespective of the predictable cries of the "noooo ... we love Eric, Eric Eric, Bill, Bill Bill!",  I think it is time to redress the balance or as Jason would say: "What we need is a divergence."

In this post I celebrate that fine, dumb as a box full o' hair, sex-god, Jason Stackhouse.  And it is his mind (or lack thereof) that I love, as much as his physique.

So to that end here is the collected wit and wisdom of Jason as revealed in True Blood Seasons 1 and 2.

In TB Season 1 we got to see the more (ahem) physical side of Jason, so the audience didn't really have a chance to appreciate his native wit and unique take on life.

In Season 1 Jason revealed that he was perceptive:

Jason to LaFayette: “You’re wearing gold pants!”;

and witty, even under extreme duress:

Jason to LaFayette: "I got gout of the dick!!!"

But Jason's greatest contribution to the wisdom of the ages (and a warning to men everywhere) was his "big bad of crazy' rule:

Jason to Amy: “I should've known something wasn't right the second you walked into my life carrying that big bag of crazy! 'Cause any woman with a purse that big's bound to have something in it I don't wanna know about!”

In Season 2, with his body not much required for anything but exhibition, Jason really hit his intellectual and philosophical straps.

We found out he was a biblical scholar in this exchange:
Luke - "Think you walk on water don’t you Stackhouse?" Jason - "I’m pretty sure that was Moses."

And an existential philosopher of note with:

Jason to Andy: "It's like if a tree falls in the woods it's still a tree, ain't it?"

and

Jason to Andy: “Do you think Sam could turn into a chicken and lay his own egg. Wouldn't that be weird, eatin' something that just came out of you?”

and

Jason to Sam: "I smite thee, Sam Merlotte. DIE!"

We all marvelled at his musing on life, love and the nature of good and evil in these exchanges:

Jason to Sookie: "When you love somebody, you gotta love it all, or it ain't love."

and

Jason to Luke: “Evil is making the premedicated choice to be a dick”

and

Jason to Andy: “Do you think Sam ever turned into a dog and then made it with a female dog?”

and , of course:

Jason to Steve: “I reckon I've already been to heaven and it's inside your wife.”

And who could forget that subtle and profound question:

"Explain Europe to me?" 

I think we would all like to have Europe explained.  Anybody?....Anybody?

 Ah Jason, Jason, Jason, and, yes, I too "love the smell of nail polish in the morning."



Quotes and photos: HBO