Apocalypse News Flash - Rain Of Fish (Alas No Chips)

Apocalypse news has been a bit thin on the ground lately, but now comes a story from the Top End of Australia about fish raining from the sky. 

The fish in question fell on the township of Lajamanu which is on the edge of the Tanami Desert and hundreds of kilometres from open water. 

One witness is quoted as saying that "It rained fish in Lajamanu on Thursday and Friday night, they fell from the sky everywhere. These fish were alive when they hit the ground."

Not only have fish been committing mass suicide by raining from the sky, but they have also been flinging themselves at bemused fishermen.  In one case a 30kg (66lbs) fish jumped straight into the arms of one very lucky guy.

All we need now is a rain of chips.  And lemon and tartare sauce if it's not too much trouble.

Source: NT News - http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2010/02/28/127891_ntnews.html;
Cairns Post - http://www.cairns.com.au/article/2010/03/02/96765_local-news.html

The Chronicles of Chicken Little - 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse

From Chicken Little's Twitter feed...

1. I love my new job. Being 5th Horseman is cool!


2. In Georgia yesterday. Caused mass panic in Mall. Almost got Santa with an exploding elf, but plan was thwarted. Dang!

3. Where to next? Waiting for orders from infernal master.

4. Been called to a team meeting. First time meeting the guys. It's so cool!

5. I was really keen, so turned up early. War turned up next. He's kinda mean looking. Has a red horse.

6. Meeting was a bust. War had to leave for Russia, but said I should come along. The others didn't even turn up. Maybe next time.

7. Sat around waiting for War. He came back looking happy, but wouldn't say why. His horse bit me.

8. Asked if I could have a horse of my own. Was told it was "up to management".

9. Heard from management. I'm too small for a horse. OH&S issue apparently. Can have a Chihuahua, but. A black one. I'll call him Dracula!

10. Still haven't met the others. Pestilence is in Nth Korea and Famine is in Africa (as usual). War is in Iraq, again.

You can follow Chicken Little's adventures as the 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse through his Twitter feed:
http://twitter.com/5HChickenLittle

5th Horseman, Chicken Little, Strikes in Georgia

A 45 year-old man dressed as an elf, and waiting to sit on Santa's lap, panicked a shopping mall crowd in the US State of Georgia after talking loudly about explosives.

I'm not sure what is most disturbing: that he was threatening people; that he was a 45 years old and dressed as an elf or that he was 45 yeas old  and waiting in line to see Santa.

The man is obviously a disciple of Chicken Little, the recently hired 5th Horseman of the Apocalypse, whose mission is to spread fear, alarm and panic.

I will keep you updated on latest sightings.

Source: new.com.au - http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/evacuation-after-santa-alarmed-by-elf/story-e6frfku0-1225806829891

Chicken Little Announced as Fifth Member of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Following on from the whole confusing "sky is falling" sign of the apocalypse debacle, representatives of Chicken Little have announced that he is indeed to join the Horsemen of the Apocalypse as its fifth member.

According to the press release his duties will relate to "spreading fear, alarm and panic relating to natural disasters involving atmospheric phenomena."  Additionally he will coordinate any avian themed apocalyptic distasters such as the recent Great Budgie Plague in Australia.

Apocalypse Watch - The Sky is Falling (or is it?)

Houses in Grovedale, Victoria have had mystery holes blown through their roofs.   Could be meteorites or it could be the Apocalypse.  Be on alert, people!

Hey - wait a minute - the whole "sky is falling thing" is Chicken Little, isn't it? 

Bugger!  Not the Apocalypse after all. 

Everybody stand down.

Source: news.com.au - http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26329396-13762,00.html

Australian Signs of The Apocalypse - Budgie Plague

If the skies turning blood-red a few weeks ago were not enough to convince us that the Apocalypse was nigh now, in a quintessentially (I've always wanted to use that word in a sentence) Australian manner, two more signs have manifested. 

Firstly, small white fluffy dogs have gone feral and started attacking people (OK. I admit, not very Australian and not very scary) and secondly, the Australian Outback is under attack from a plague of Budgerigars.

With the good inland rains flocks of the tiny, green parrots have bred into millions of noisy, hungry, little flying demons.  Anyone who has owned a Budgie will know just how scary is the prospect of millions of the nasty, little, bitey buggers. 

Alfred Hitchcock eat your heart out.

Photo credit (Anna Britton) http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,26264581-13762,00.html

Apocalypse Again!

A cloud of blood-red dust has blanketed South-Eastern Australia and nearly shut down Sydney. I always suspected that Luna Park was the gate to Hell (see pic). That face with its mad, wide smile and white, white teeth...

People have been saying this red sky is a sign of the Apocalypse.

Again!

I'm getting bored of this almost Apocalypse. Get over it already! The Apocalypse is like love or the Spanish Inquisition - it will come when you least expect it (or not at all) and it will have a comfy chair.

And while I'm on the subject of Apocalypses/Apocalypii??? (whatever), what is it with fantasy/horror TV shows and the Apocalypse? Didn't Buffy manage to avert the Apocalypse several times, not to mention Angel as well? The boys on Supernatural are also battling Hell in their current season. There's got to be others I've forgotten. Surely there are only so many times you can avert an Apocalypse.